Life with Fast Boy

The Challenges of Raising Our ADHD Son

Archive for the ‘Life in General’ Category

Life Adjacent to Fast Boy

Posted by One Tired Mama on May 4, 2010

I logged into my WordPress account this morning for the first time in a while (obviously). I found that after my ISP changed my email address, I forgot to update it here. I had comments here that I wasn’t aware of.

Including this one: https://fastboy.wordpress.com/2010/01/11/frustrated/#comment-99

I thought for a moment about not approving it, but then I realized there was no real good reason why I shouldn’t. Mike is just as entitled to his opinion as I am. Another thing… Mike is right! Now before anybody goes jumping down my throat on the other spectrum, let me clarify that I think in many situations, Mike is mostly right, in my case.

Where Mike is wrong is that he didn’t give me enough credit about what I have and haven’t done. This is a blog afterall. I write to it periodically when I am stressed and need to vent. This is part of my therapy and it also helps other parents not feel so alone. BUT it can not possibly tell the whole story. I don’t have time to blog about every aspect of my life from when my parents messed me up through how I’ve messed up my own kids. (Actually, I have another blog for MY personal issues.)

Mike, if you’re reading, I apologize on behalf of whoever treated you unfairly and for those of who have treated our children unfairly. Let me tell you that I have spent a massive amount of time working on my issues and my family issues and the proper way to communicate with Fast Boy. I have a therapist of my own who I see regularly. (And yes, she blames MY parents as well.) I take medication for my needs and hate every single pill I have to take and hate even more that I have to give anything at all to my son. (Did you read that post?) Trust me when I tell you that I am aware of my short-comings as a parent. Whenever I discuss my son with anyone, I take accountability first and put my issues and the family issues out on the table before we EVER accuse Fast Boy of being the problem. I am a work in progress and I do my best.

I could go on, but this blog is not about my issues. It’s about experiences I’ve had with Fast Boy. Period.

And I didn’t post this because I felt the need to defend myself. I posted it because I actually do agree with Mike on many levels. There are parents who pop their kids on meds and blame life’s problems on a “disorder” without trying to fix the underlying problems. I am NOT one of those parents. I have faced those demons and I am as comfortable with my choices as I’m ever going to be.

I love my son.  And he loves me.  And every day it gets better.

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Posted in Life in General | 1 Comment »

Frustrated!

Posted by One Tired Mama on January 11, 2010

I’ve been absent for a while now. Not just absent from this blog, but from my life at home. I burnt out. I gave up. I pretty much walked away. I was ready to move out and leave Fast Boy and Princess with their father. Luckily, financial instability and a good dose of anti-depressants kept me here. I’m glad that I’m back and trying to make things work, but damn it’s hard sometimes!

Yesterday I decided to make a vision board. You know, a visual respresentation of things you want in your life. It’s a Law of Attraction thing. And some unknown part of me decided to make this a family project. My husband was into it. Princess was into it. I had to twist Fast Boy’s arm to go to the store with us to get poster board and glue sticks.

Once we got to the store, Fast Boy began to participate. He voted that we make one big family vision board instead of individual ones. He picked out some other craft things he wanted to try. I was feeling optmistic.

As soon as we got home, Fast Boy went back to the television. Princess and I started looking through magazines to find pictures of things that represent what makes us happy and things we wanted for our future. She was much more materialistic about it than I was, but she is 7 after all. (She found a lava lamp, a television, a telephone, nail polish, a house, a heart and a puppy.) The Boss Man set about finding things on the computer.

I pleaded with Fast Boy to join us. I asked him to make a list of things he wanted and things that make him happy. He just kept watching TV. I was tempted to turn it off, but the battle I would have faced would have put me into a place where the vision board wouldn’t have happened at all. I eventually got him to cut out a few pictures… of breakfast bars, Smuckers PB&J sandwiches and Scooby-Doo videos. Sigh…

Well, the rest of us finished our vision board. We each had our own section, but there was some sharing and overlap. Here is what we ended up with:

There we have, on one piece of poster board, the symbolism of our life. With one big empty dark gray spot. Yes, that’s horrible, but that’s how I’m feeling. I’m trying not to.

Posted in Behavioral Problems, Gratitude, Life in General | 6 Comments »