Life with Fast Boy

The Challenges of Raising Our ADHD Son

Archive for July, 2007

Attention Kmart Shoppers

Posted by One Tired Mama on July 28, 2007

We got a check from Gramma in the mail to help us buy school clothes and so each kid could buy a new toy.  I really dreaded the idea of taking them both shopping and put it off as long as I could.  However, when I had to wait several hours to have my SUV serviced, it was the perfect time.  Shopping in the mall with two kids sure beats trying to entertain them in a service station waiting room.

We had the courtesy shuttle drop us off.  It was still too early for the shops to be open so we headed to the Kmart at the other end.  I picked up a few necessities that I needed and then we headed over to the toy aisles.  I can still hear the “I want”s ringing in my ears!  We took a good look around at all the junk and I decided that we should keep looking through the store to see what else there was to choose from and then come back if we didn’t find anything else. 

Princess and I started looking at the CD players and child digital cameras in the electronics department.  Fast Boy went immediately to the Game Cube display and started playing the demo video games.  I knew then and there that we were headed for trouble.  (Self-defeating prophecy?)  See, I know that Fast Boy has a big problem detaching himself from video games.  I’ve seen it too many times before.  Which is why his Game Boy had to take a vacation and go stay with someone else for awhile.  Preparing myself and the store clerk for what was about to happen, I discussed my son’s issues with video games.  His school had actually recommended finding educational, skill-building games for his Game Boy so I inquired.  I was surprised to find out that they do exist, but not so surprised to find out that they didn’t have any in stock.

I used my very best parenting skills and patience, prompted Fast Boy to finish what he was doing because it was time to move along and waited.    After a few minutes of talking to the clerk, I prompted again.  I could see his tension increase.  I tried to negotiate.  Nothing.  So I warned the clerk to block her ears, told Fast Boy that Princess and I were moving on and that he needed to come with us.  The second I took one step, out came the scream!  I’m sure everyone on the other side of the mall heard it. 

He stopped playing the game and followed Princess and I through the store toward the checkout, screaming and crying loudly all the way that I was “mean” and “not fair” and that he hates me.  Then he decided that he wasn’t getting enough of a reaction and took off.   

Usually, he is within sight when he runs away.  I periodically see him peeking from around a corner to make sure I’m still there.  Not this time.  I waited at the checkout for what seemed like forever to see a glimpse of him.  Finally, the electronics clerk returned him to me.  He was quiet for a few minutes, but started yelling and crying again while the cashier was bagging my stuff. 

So much for all the clothes shopping and going back for a toy….

Fast Boy crouched in the mall doorway in fetal position until the shuttle returned to pick us up.

When we got back home, I had him call Gramma and explain to her what happened and why we didn’t get to purchase what she sent the money for.  His story was that I didn’t let him play the game and I made him cry.  He left out the rage and running away part.  Sometimes I wonder if he even remembers doing it. 

Posted in Rage, Shenanigans | 2 Comments »

Thank You for Acting Up

Posted by One Tired Mama on July 27, 2007

Dear FastBoy,

Thank you for acting up in front of the LMHP today.  You have done a perfect job of demonstrating the type of behavior that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  Usually people look at me like I’m nuts when I tell them how tired you make me.  But, not today.  Today, they got to see, hear and feel what I live with.  Your screaming, arguing, running, and confrontational, almost-aggressive behavior was a perfect example of our lives together.  The fact that you still had on your pajama top and underwear at 2 o’clock in the afternoon was icing on the cake.

Lucky for her, she only had to stay for two hours. 

Love,

One Tired Mama

Posted in Note to FastBoy | 1 Comment »

How to Make a Water Slide

Posted by One Tired Mama on July 19, 2007

For those of you who are here because you really want to know how to make a water slide, you’ve come to the wrong place.  Turn back now.  Do not try this at home.

Not that I want to jinx myself by saying this, but my son hasn’t gotten into any shenanigans lately.  So, I thought I’d share a story from a couple weeks ago.  It probably won’t be as much fun to read since I’ve calmed down since then, but I’m sure you’ll understand how I felt at the time.

My children have permission to use the swing set at the neighbor’s house whenever they want.  Our yard is just too small for one and they are never home over there any way.  I’ve told them both repeatedly that they have to ask my permission first, need to stay on or around the swing set, not go any where else, and be in sight if I happen to come outside looking for them. 

As usual, when I went to check on them, they were not where they were supposed to be.  I called.  No one answered.  I called again.  Still nothing.  “One!”, I shouted.  “Coming!”, I hear from around the neighbors house.  (Not bad, didn’t even have to get to two.)  I hear Princess yelling to Fast Boy that I am calling and that he needs to come too.  I eventually see them, but instead of coming home, they climb back on the swings.  I called them again.  As they approached, I explained that they have broken the rules and need to come home.  I then noticed that they didn’t have their shoes on and sent them back to get their shoes.  I went back inside and waited…

And waited…

Back outside I went to find that they were still on the swings.  I repeated that they had broken the rules and have to come home. “Bring your shoes.”  I was beginning to feel frustrated and went back inside.

I was sitting at my desk trying to get back into my work when one of them came in the house.  I knew immediately that something was not right.  “What on Earth is that smell???  OMG!  What did he do this time?”  (Yes, I immediately blame my son.  Shame on me.)   I thought it was gasoline.  It had that type of smell.  I completely lost it!!

Fuming, I followed my wet little Princess back to the swing set to investigate.  Fast Boy was just as wet and smelly and had that I-know-I’m-in-big-trouble look on his face.  I found an open can of WD-40 and an almost empty gallon jug of…  wait for it…   chainsaw oil!

Both of my children, the slide and the ground were drenched in chainsaw oil! 

Then I got quiet.  (When I get quiet, it is a very bad thing.)  I felt unbelievably helpless.  I calmly had them return the containers to where they found them.  They had gotten them from the back of the neighbor’s patio.  I also found their water spout turned on full blast and had Fast Boy turn that off.  I marched them home, had them strip naked, drop their clothes in the middle of the kitchen floor, and put them both in the bath tub as I called the crisis line for the mental health professional we have been working with.  I was afraid I was going to snap and I didn’t know what to do with it all.

For the next five minutes, Princess and Fast Boy giggled in the tub.  They don’t bathe together any more, so they thought it was fun.  The more they smirked, the more my blood pressure went up.  I wouldn’t even try to wash them.  I thought it best if I didn’t even touch them at that point.  I called my husband and started to cry.

By the time the mental health worker showed up, the kids were clean and dressed and I was on the phone with the fire department inquiring on how to clean up WD-40 and chainsaw oil.  It was about that time that I connected the slide, the oil and the water spout.  We had been to a birthday party just a few days earlier where they played on an inflatable water slide.  My clever little darlings had tried to make their own water slide.

In case you’re wondering, WD-40 and chainsaw oil clean off of plastic slides with degreaser, and off of wood, marble tile and children with soap and water.   The smell takes a long time to go away.  After three wash cycles of hot water, I threw their clothes in the trash.  I went out for a few beers with a friend when my husband got home. 

The children had to tell the neighbors what they did and had to help Daddy clean up the swing set.  I asked the neighbors to give the children some lawn work to do in addition, but they never made a request.  In the meantime, they are not allowed to play at the neighbor’s house with the explanation that if they can’t respect someone else’s property, then they can’t use it.  I set no time limit.  I was hoping the neighbor’s would have some feedback, but we haven’t had any further conversation about it since it happened.  (Any advice?) 

Posted in Impulsivity, Shenanigans | 3 Comments »

Incessant Behavior

Posted by One Tired Mama on July 17, 2007

It’s not that Fast Boy and Princess have been doing anything particularly terrible over the past few days. I have learned to choose my battles. However, this incessant behavior of running back and forth, in and out, screaming, asking for things, and poking at each other is making me want to tie them up with duct tape and throw them in a closet!

in·ces·sant  – adjective – continuing without interruptions; unending; ceaseless, constant, continual, continuous, endless, eternal, everlasting, interminable, interminate, monotonous, non-stop, perpetual, persistent, relentless, timeless, unbroken, unceasing, unending, unrelenting, unremitting…

I think you get the picture.

I guess I’ll take them to the park now so they can burn off some more energy…

Posted in ADHD symptoms | Leave a Comment »

Gratitude via Comparison

Posted by One Tired Mama on July 16, 2007

Trying desperately to focus on getting some work done while listening to Princess scream at Fast Boy at the top of her lungs for the n-teenth time, I gave up and distracted myself with some blog surfing.  I followed Baggage and Bug over to The Open Window and read for a while.  These blogs are written by women who have adopted their children and deal with challenges that make mine look weak.  I found myself amazed at their strength and wishing that I had more of it. 

I do that a lot.  Comparing.  It’s not always healthy.  It’s not always appropriate.  I compare Princess to Fast Boy.  I compare Fast Boy to my own brother.  I compare myself and our family to the life of my divorced friend and her family.  I often wonder how she deals with her two boys at home by herself and how she has to take turns with their father.  Why do I do that?  Maybe it’s just human nature.  I don’t know.

The good news… The result of my comparison is almost always gratitude.  Things could be worse than they are.  Things are not really that bad.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  And even though someone else’s situation may be harder, or just different, I remind myself that I too am a strong woman.  I need to give myself more credit.

P.S.  Remind me of this the next time I’m ripping my hair out of my head due to sheer frustration.

Posted in Gratitude | 2 Comments »