Life with Fast Boy

The Challenges of Raising Our ADHD Son

Frustrated!

Posted by One Tired Mama on January 11, 2010

I’ve been absent for a while now. Not just absent from this blog, but from my life at home. I burnt out. I gave up. I pretty much walked away. I was ready to move out and leave Fast Boy and Princess with their father. Luckily, financial instability and a good dose of anti-depressants kept me here. I’m glad that I’m back and trying to make things work, but damn it’s hard sometimes!

Yesterday I decided to make a vision board. You know, a visual respresentation of things you want in your life. It’s a Law of Attraction thing. And some unknown part of me decided to make this a family project. My husband was into it. Princess was into it. I had to twist Fast Boy’s arm to go to the store with us to get poster board and glue sticks.

Once we got to the store, Fast Boy began to participate. He voted that we make one big family vision board instead of individual ones. He picked out some other craft things he wanted to try. I was feeling optmistic.

As soon as we got home, Fast Boy went back to the television. Princess and I started looking through magazines to find pictures of things that represent what makes us happy and things we wanted for our future. She was much more materialistic about it than I was, but she is 7 after all. (She found a lava lamp, a television, a telephone, nail polish, a house, a heart and a puppy.) The Boss Man set about finding things on the computer.

I pleaded with Fast Boy to join us. I asked him to make a list of things he wanted and things that make him happy. He just kept watching TV. I was tempted to turn it off, but the battle I would have faced would have put me into a place where the vision board wouldn’t have happened at all. I eventually got him to cut out a few pictures… of breakfast bars, Smuckers PB&J sandwiches and Scooby-Doo videos. Sigh…

Well, the rest of us finished our vision board. We each had our own section, but there was some sharing and overlap. Here is what we ended up with:

There we have, on one piece of poster board, the symbolism of our life. With one big empty dark gray spot. Yes, that’s horrible, but that’s how I’m feeling. I’m trying not to.

6 Responses to “Frustrated!”

  1. Katy B. said

    OMG, so glad you’re back to blogging. I enjoyed previous posts and hoped you would return.

    The vision board idea is a great one, I’ve been thinking of doing this myself. And if you want to…you can actually choose to see all the potential of that grey spot. You can make it what you want it to be :) I know it’s hard sometimes…but maybe stick something funny in there just to crack yourself up. You can change your spot every day, depending on how you are feeling…or to try to inspire yourself…or you know…whatever :)

  2. mike said

    i think this forum should be renamed

    “Life Adjacent to Fast Boy.”

    and also, i would like to see a 3-phrase post:

    ask each of your other family members what adjective they would attach to WOMAN.

    Listener Woman?
    Pause Before Responding Woman?
    Spends time according to child’s choice woman?
    Considers group-shopping quality time woman?
    Will give Amphetamines to child before having a parenting assessment done?

    Lastly, your Categories section:
    I’m going to go on a limb and guess.. you are not describing YOUR rage, YOUR impulsivity, Your behav problems? because… this is about YOU right? and not just a place for you to reaffirm your non-participatory status in relation to your childs form of communication with you?

    have you considered that after all is said and done, your child communicates in the only way HE has found, which will cause you to listen and respond truthfully and respectfully? i’ll tag team you on this with my whole range of professionals which are citing some huge trends in adult accountability – and it’s not just the adults who chose banking, but also Parenting, Coparenting, Supermomming, Superdadding, Having It Alling, Child-Not-The_EverLOVING-purposeofyourEXISTENCE… god says you are here to love. love him up FIRST then ask which “technique” you list he would prefer. ever tried that? y/n?

  3. [...] Including this one: http://fastboy.wordpress.com/2010/01/11/frustrated/#comment-99 [...]

  4. Katy B. said

    Well, yes, everyone’s entitled to an opinion. Mike clearly has one…but you know what? Sometimes parents just get tired. And sometimes, when parents are tired, choosing a peaceful evening as the priority just needs to happen. Sometimes honoring your own limits is what needs to happen, and IS the best parenting choice.

  5. I love the vision board idea! And I think we all get frustrated sometimes – we are only human. And dealing with kids is always an up and down roller coaster. Every stage is different and communication changes as our children get older. But the fact that we are doing our best as moms and sharing our experiences and doing what we can to do things in the best way – I think that is awesome. We need to give ourselves more credit sometimes (me included). I think I am going to do the vision board thing with my family. Love it.

    DAWN

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